After each lesson I am given questions to ask Nathan. The first question tonight was "What was the greatest gift you have ever received?" I'm expecting his answer to be his bike, his leapster, his camera. Something material or maybe even his brother. But he doesn't even blink an eye or take a breath. He says, "Jesus." I become speechless and tearful. I hold him tighter and don't let go, these are the moments I live for, these are the moments I treasure and praise my God for!
I've made countless mistakes in my life, I've messed up more times than I can count. I've done dumb, thoughtless things. I've said things that can never be taken back, unintentionally hurt people. Yes, I've done things that I wish I could take back. But I serve an awesome God who offers love and grace to me. He constantly shows me that love and grace through the beautiful gifts of my children. Jim and I try to impart a love for God in the boys, but in the end, it must all come from their hearts' desires. It feels like Nathan's heart has been captured. I pray he allows God to always hold on and never let go. I pray Nathan never lets go of God's heart for him.
Right now Brady knows that God loves him the most. Just ask him who loves him most and he'll tell you God! You know how hard that is as a parent? To admit that someone else loves your child more than you? Hard, but God does love him more than I ever could. Never thought it was possible. But I am second after Him!!! :)
We're heading to Orangeburg, SC tomorrow for my grandmother's funeral, she passed away yesterday afternoon. Please pray for my family. I am hopeful God will use this as a time of healing for my family.