I thought I would blog about my personal journey this year to develop the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith, self-control. This is only done by spending more time with our Father, it's the work of the Holy Spirit in us. As much as my family will appreciate the benefits of this, you guys may not enjoy reading about it as much!
So my next journey is about my struggles with my weight and self image and my current attempt at weight loss. Our recent series with our students has been titled "Scarred." We asked our students to share how they've been scarred and I was too ashamed/embarrassed/afraid to share mine, so why not now?! Growing up I was always bigger than my older sisters. This was nice at first because it had its advantages, but then my parents would make comments about my weight. Even saying I could be so much prettier if I just lost some of that weight and making beeping noises when I backed up. This doesn't help anyone. I also dated someone who was harsh on me about my weight and what I ate. He was very cruel about every bit of food I put in my mouth. This kind of abuse caused me to feel worse about myself. So my self image has been brutally scarred. Even marrying an incredible man who could care less what the scale says has not healed those scars. So after having three amazing children in three years, my body is under attack-by me! I'm determined to treat my body as the sanctuary God made it to be. He loves this body He created and wants me to love it to. So my goals are to lose weight in a healthy way and love my body along the way. Just writing this has been helpful in healing that scar. Thanks!
But my main reason for starting a blog is to share about the most amazing gifts I have received, Nathan and Brady. I am constantly humbled that God would trust me to care for His children for a while. I feel so inadequate and incapable and when I do, I pray for His guidance and praise Him for putting some truly incredible people in my life to help me along this journey of motherhood.
Five years ago Jim and I were a broken couple. We were struggling to find hope. We knew it was out there and we had the promise of it from our Father, but sometimes, it's so hard to know it.
Lamentations 3:21-25 says "and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him to the one who seeks Him."
He is good, so good because it was five years ago that I was writing letters letting our friends know we were going to be expecting another miracle in December. Our hearts were still broken after Harris died. Part of our hearts will always be missing, but God gave us hope. He gave us Nathan and Brady and I cannot imagine what life was like before them and I never want to know a day without them.
They are amazing children. They are what this blog will be about-with the exception of living my life for God and being Jim's wife, they are what my life is about. Not my struggles, I'm a pretty boring person. But my children, my gifts from God who are truly inspiring. Don't get me wrong, you'll catch a glimpse of my life and the joy I get from being their mom and from doing what I get paid to do (hate calling it work because I LOVE it).
Well, l think this is a good place to start. If you're reading this and I don't post again soon, let me know about it!!! :)