Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My baby's not really a baby anymore

At what point is a child no longer a baby? I'm sure there are labels out there-infant, toddler, anklebiter, crumbsnatcher, preschooler, rugrat, etc. But for you, when is your child no longer a baby? Since Brady is our last baby (unless God decides to use His wicked, not the Yankee version of wicked, sense of humor on us) I'm having a hard time letting go of the title baby. Being that I'm the baby of my family I don't think my family has ever let go of the label for me. At some point, though, for him to mature and become the man God calls him to be, I must allow that baby label to be replaced by others. I'm also well aware that there are so many labels out there that I don't want him associated with so maybe that's why I'd prefer to hold tight to the baby label for a while longer.

Brady came to our room Saturday morning and we said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" We excitedly commented about our big three year old and he quickly pointed out that he wasn't three yet because he had not had a cupcake. He is so my child. I do have a thing for cupcakes, actually cake, but you know that you're really not supposed to eat an entire cake so some genious came up with cupcakes to help those of us with a guilty conscious. Sadly, I'm particular about my cake and am not fond of grocery store cake so I don't often get one for my birthday because Jim's not going to bake one and he knows better than to run to girl Lowes and buy one. Last year sweet Katie Nakhle, one of my Crossings' students, made me the most delicious cupcakes for my birthday. Oh, so yummy. I will not divulge how many I ate. Oh, how I digress with the delicious topic of cupcakes...

Back to Brady's birthday morning. He needed cupcakes to turn three and when asked what he wanted for his birthday breakfast all he said was, "Coke." Now, we don't keep those in our home. We're a pretty boring beverage home. We have milk, water, coffee and juice. Sometimes we'll have decaf tea, but that's only when I get a hankering for it and I prefer Splenda so we need that, too. I've been sick so I definitely didn't feel like driving somewhere for a Coke. Next best thing-wonderful neighbors you can ask for anything and visit in your pajamas. They had a 2-liter of Coke and wrote 'Happy Birthday Brady' on it. Sweet! For breakfast (in bed, no less) my three-year-old had chocolate chip muffins/cupcakes to him and Coke. That's a successful birthday! Happy Birthday Sweet Brady! May God bless you abundantly. We love you toe mush!

I'm guessing if Brady (aka, Candy Man to SMC Staff) gets loaded with caffeine for his 3rd birthday then he's no longer a baby. But I would certainly love to keep him my baby forever. I have held him a little tighter, a little longer and kissed him more the past week hoping to keep him my baby. But as he looks up at me with those incredible blue eyes and that nose sprinkled with freckles, my heart melts knowing that one day he'll have to look down at me because certainly he'll grow beyond me. My baby will always be my baby, all of them will, it's the letting go and allowing them to become little boys that's so painfully hard sometimes. That's where my trusting God to hold them when I can't becomes key and praying that there are still people willing to speak truth into their lives on a constant basis is crucial. Until that day comes that Brady doesn't allow me to squeeze him to pieces, I'm going to hold tight to be my baby just a little longer.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Certainly not Snow White...

Do you ever feel like you're one of the Seven Dwarfs? Maybe all in one day, all in the same hour? Sometimes I'm so caught up in emotions that I can't pick which one so I end up terribly GRUMPY. That's where I've been all week. Deep down inside I have so much to be grateful for and I'll find myself weeping over it then minutes later I'm crying over something really sad. I even had a student Sunday night call me grumpy. Ouch, that hurt. Is it the time change? My sneaking the good Halloween candy from the boys? Or is it really time for Jim to consider moving and not telling me?

How difficult is it for God's light to shine through you when you're grumpy? And I mean REALLY shine? I don't mean the flashlight has a battery so it works, I mean LIGHTHOUSE shine. I'm feeling my light's starting to dim. That's the last thing God or I want. So I'll take a step back, spend some time with Him and pray my light is of better quality to burn off the grump. It doesn't look like chocolate is doing it. And that's depressing enough! "And the light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out." John 1:5

Just so this isn't all about me being a GrumpPot...I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but my Nathan is one amazing prayer warrior. I'm not sure when gifts are distinguishable, but he has something amazing. The past week or so he's really opened up with his prayer time leaving me in tears each night. And yesterday I was anxious about a friend so I asked him to pray for her. He prayed for her and brought up another friend in the prayer. This other friend has some complications in her pregnancy a few weeks ago. I have no idea why her name came to his head at that time. Later on I found out she had a doctor's appointment. Everything is fine, but it was just incredible that he would bring her up as well. Throughout the day I'll ask him to pray for someone and he'll say, "I'll pray for them tonight." I always ask him why not now and he normally does it then and is always certain to remember them again that night. I don't know about you and it may be that I would honestly forget my brain if God wasn't so thoughtful and attached it, but I have a hard time remembering prayer requests that have just been told to me. In fact I write them down and pray with one eye opened because I would hate to forget one. Here's my four (almost 5) year old remembering to pray for others. He just amazes me.

With all this prayer talk, please pray for my high school friend, Anitra. Her husband passed away unexpectedly last week. I cannot even imagine what she is going through. Please pray for her. And with that prayer thank God for the people in your life and don't take a moment with them for granted. My poor boys are held so tightly some mornings they beg for air because I've missed them at night. Notice I said "some." There are many mornings I'd love to sleep in for an hour more instead I have two wild monkeys jumping on my bed and you know what happens when monkeys jump on your bed...

Gotta love YouTube!

I'm still beyond grateful for these gifts of Nathan & Brady no matter what time it is or how grumpy I may be. Have you heard this song on Noggin? When we had cable, Nathan loved Noggin and we loved this song. Good to know you're loved even when you're grumpy!


If you want to be a grump that's ok
But could you be grumpy kinda further away
It's not that I dont love ya cause you know I do
Sometimes I'm grumpy too!

If you want to be a nudge that's ok
But could you be nudgey kinda further away
Its not that I dont love ya cause you know I do
Sometimes I'm nudgey too

And I think I understand exactly what it is you're going through
When your oatmeals lumpy; your socks are all bumpy
What's a poor kid to do?