Thursday, April 8, 2010

Holding on to HOPE, again

I'd like to say that in my five months of not blogging I'd have tons of brilliant things to say.  That I would have healed some wounds, enjoyed some holidays and grown abundantly in my faith and in my parenting.  While most of that has happened, I have been bombarded by attacks on the people I love and care for.  My team of volunteers has been attacked with death, disease, illness, loss, pain, and suffering.  We've had little celebration and yet we've held tight to the One who conquers all those things and promises us a beautiful future.  My best friend still mourns the loss of her baby we would have welcomed into the world next month.  Another friend's facebook status today reminded me she should be celebrating eighteen months with her gift from God instead of wondering what he should be doing.  A wonderful lady my family adores (the boys most likely think she's their grandmother) was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and begins treatment and the fun of so many people fondling her breasts.  Their babysitter and our friend is sending her fiance off to Afghanistan for a year this weekend for the third time since they've been together.  Another friend's husband is suffering from endless headaches without a cure affecting every aspect of their lives.  

I sometimes get so caught up in the doom and gloom of those prayer requests and the countless others that come to me throughout the week that I feel like I can't come up for air.  Even though I know that all that is expected of me is to give it all to my Father and He'll take the burden from me I still feel like I need to hold onto it myself.  I'm a doer by nature, I feel like I need to be doing something to try to fix it.  There's nothing I can do in any of those circumstances listed above but pray and pour out my love to those I love.  For a doer who likes to cook, clean, bake, drive, organize, anything for others-laying it all out in prayer is a difficult task.  Because that's sitting still, listening, talking and waiting and HOPING.  And that's what I hold onto.  Hope, neverending, everlasting, hope.  I can do that because in the midst of all of those prayer requests I often get just as many praises of how God has worked in the lives of my family, friends, and team members.  Like our friend Craig who is heading to Baltimore at the end of the month to donate his kidney, a true miracle!  God's miracles, His love, His grace, His power.  In that I am blessed and full of gratitude. 

The joy of that is passing those lessons on to the boys.  We pray every night as a family.  We ask them if they have any prayer requests.  Nathan normally refrains from bringing up any.  Brady tends to have silly ones or personal ones.  Tonight Brady asked that he would feel better soon because he was not feeling good because of all of the yellow stuff on the cars (gotta love spring in NC!).  When Nathan does ask for something, you know it's a real and rather genuine one.  I love that about him, he's beyond the age of praying for "silly" things (I know nothing is silly to God, but asking that wolves not eat us is a bit on the extreme side).  He's sincere about who and what he's praying for and I love to hear what's coming out of his mouth.  The night before my sister's birthday he asked that she have a great birthday tomorrow and that she know how much we love her.  I love how thoughtful he can be and how he thinks of others first.  I love knowing that they are learning about how to pray and we love sharing about the times God answers our prayers and blesses those we love.  They are learning about the love and grace of our Father through the ups and downs of our lives.  We are not the type of family to hide things, we openly share the ups and downs and pray about it all.  While it may be hard to sit and pray, we know it's always the best thing to do in every situation.

I'll try to get back to regular blogging. I think I'll get the creative juices flowing again and let them loose!!

1 comment:

  1. I love you! Was having a 'down' moment .. OK, STILL having a 'down' moment, but reading about the boys prayers and knowing that we're in them means a lot to me, more than I can ever tell you! Thanks for blogging today, you came just in God's time!