We all have them, those moments where we're simply in the car, heading from A to B hoping we get there in one piece a bit less frazzled than before and on time. I'm terrible about running late, I always think I have time but it never works out-another story. I'll confess that when I'm driving I have a few different states of mind:
1. I'm driving, I don't hear you back there. I'm thinking about this and that.
2. I'm praying or at least talking in my head to God, not an announced, "Hey God, it's me" prayer, but a "This is what all is going on, what do You think about it?"
3. Ahh, it's quiet back there.
4. Wow, they are getting along nicely, aww, man, jinxed that.
5. Hey boys, what do you think about..., how about..., do you remember the time?, well, I'm not sure why God gave boys man boobies.
Oh, I'm supposed to focus on the road? Yes, I see the black top, white stripes in front of me and the cars all around. But my mind is so often somewhere else, I have God to thank every time we make it home each day. Today I was having movie scene visions of other cars crashing into us while we were laughing along. The other night I dreamed about Jim driving off a walkway/pier into the ocean while high school friends watched and I desperately tried to get the boys unbuckled.
Anyway, today I don't know exactly where I landed in those states. I'm pretty sure it was close to number four without the jinx happening. We were just about to turn onto University Drive by Girl Lowes when Nathan asked me to turn the radio up. I couldn't hear anything so I was surprised when he said, "I really like this song." It was Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone. Nathan has loved Amazing Grace for as long as I can remember. He went months having me sing it to him (the original) every night before bed, all the stanzas. He so beautifully sang it at my Grandmother's funeral. So today he begins singing. I don't think anyone in our family will ever be on American Idol or even in the choir at St. Mark's, but to hear the words of that song come out of his mouth has got to be what Heaven is like. I looked back and saw Brady mouthing along with him. I need to help him learn the lyrics, too. Nathan then asked me to sing along. I didn't want to, I love that song, too. But I so badly wanted to just listen to my angels singing. It was one of those moments in the car where passersby would think I just either just heard terrible news or was leaving a funeral there were so many tears just pouring down my face. But if they had met me at a stop light, I am pretty sure they would have seen the radiance of God shining through me (and all of us) as I got to fully experience Him through my children. And I'm not sure that my attempt to put it into words has been justified. It's been one of those days where being a mom has been easy, joyful, and something to tuck into my noggin and heart for days that aren't quite like it. I'd find myself smiling at random times today just thinking about my boys. Such a blessing and I am so incredibly thankful.
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